First and foremost, make sure you are ready to date, as sometimes individuals need to learn how to be single first.
Now that you are ready to date, you can follow these 7 steps:
1- Start with the people you know and those who know you:
You have to let everyone in your network know that you are single and ready. Do not confuse this with looking needy! Most people enjoy introducing and matching up couples, however if you do not let them know that you are ready to date they may be reluctant to intrude into your single life.
2- Brainstorming all possibilities and allowing yourself to be creative while staying within the scope of things that are still enjoyable to you.
By brainstorming, I mean to start thinking about things that you previously could not do whilst you were in a relationship. This could mean, joining a club, networking in business events, cafes, dance classes, golf classes and social events such as BBQ’s. Once you start living, finding a relationship will become easier.
3- Send the right signal; often relationship anxiety and uncertainty will make individuals send out mixed signals to potential partners.
A very friendly, attractive client of mine who in her nature was always smiling would quickly shut down or look away as soon as she met a potential partner. She would then find herself saying “I only meet men that I have no interest in pursuing”. Furthermore, identify your mixed signals and change them so as to be more approachable.
4- After you have sorted out your mixed signals, TAKE ADVANAGE OF CHANCE ENCOUNTERS.
In every scenario, wherever you go, there will always be the potential and a possibility of meeting someone new. Whether you are at a gas station, at a restaurant having dinner, a bus stop, or a store. Just remember to use good judgement, with tact and safety. Allow yourself to catch the other person’s eye and be receptive by following up with a great smile. You should not limit yourself on where to meet your romantic partner.
6- Do not sit around and wait for things to magically happen.
Take the initiative, hold dinner parties or get-togethers in your home and make sure to let your friends know that they are welcome to invite others. This will help grow your friends’ network and as a consequence you will grow the possibilities of meeting a partner.
7- Develop your skills so you can be an extraordinary person.
Choosing a partner is a two-way process. If you work on yourself you will increase the chances of another person valuing what they see. If you are looking for extraordinary, you need to become extraordinary. One question you can ask yourself is; “would you date yourself?”. Come up with the positives and negatives and why you would or would not date yourself and thereafter work on the reasons why you would not. If necessary seek professional help, in order to help you identify and eliminate any underlying issues that are keeping you away from that magical relationship you have always been dreaming about.
By Carolina Pataky, LMFT
Relationship Expert Carolina Pataky gives relationship advice on a wide range of dating and relationship issues. Get advice about online dating, first dates, meeting Mr or Miss Right, courtship, intimacy, the honeymoon phase, engagement, marriage, break ups, divorce or getting back out there.