•Certified BeLove Breathwork Facilitator
•Clinical Psychology Doctorate Student at Nova Southeastern University
•Founder of Soul Obsession
•Co-creator of BeLove Breathwork
•NLP Motivational Coach
Connecting to the power of love is not new, however doing so unconditionally can be incredibly challenging. I share tidbits of my breathwork story to help you on your journey. I hope this inspires you to try, continue, and find something meaning behind your life and purpose.
After a long run in corporate, two failed marriages, and another breakup, I came to feel worthless. I was way past miserable, I was hopeless. I began to question myself, my motivators, and my life in general. I felt dissatisfied and disillusioned with everything and everyone, including myself. All this came after many years of compounding sentiments that rewarding work and relationships were just based on the right choices we'd make along the way coupled with the effort necessary to make them successful. I felt work was just something I had to do to keep a roof over my head, never questioning the distance I created in my relationships and the lack of passion behind it. My relationships seemed convenient and just part of the expected choices that led me to them. However, once I explored them further, I got the to unveil what I was really desiring from them. For work it was money and my idea of success. For my relationships, it was the expectation to fit into what I thought was supposed to be society's idea of love. Additionally, being with someone kept me from being left alone and without love. Everything felt distant, and my quest to have any of it only seemed to place me further from getting any of it.
At perhaps one of the lowest points of my life, I was invited to a breathwork retreat. Not knowing what to expect, I came with a high level of skepticism. I had rejected anything to do with spirituality and felt that unless I could physically see it or measure it, I could never place much trust into it. Still, I was desperate to heal. I didn't quite yet know what healing could look like, but I felt I could at least be open to the support of others during challenging times. Coming in somewhat down, my first session was emotional. I felt and an overwhelming sense of anger, fear, and sadness for everything I had already lost. Reaching 40, the first half of my life felt like a constant struggle to keep things together. I had envisioned peaking financially and within my relationships only to find myself alone in an desolate valley. Where did I go wrong? Where did I lose control?
My second breathwork experience, was all about surrender and acceptance. I somehow came to feel that everything was going to be ok. That if I became even more vulnerable to my emotions, I could perhaps allow them to teach me lessons that I would normally dismiss or reject. I felt at peace with what life had given me and somehow knew, despite deeply missing my partner that I could no longer control outcomes. I became humbled by the realization that I couldn't make someone feel, think or behave in any way. In fact, I quickly realized that I couldn't control anything in this life. I just had to accept things and surrender to my feelings. There was peace in that.
My third breathwork came to be what can only be described as the most blissful experience I've ever had. It lasted over two and half hours, where I felt my body contort and lock into a position that no amount of strength could have ever corrected. Cognitively, lucid memories and visions of the past, present, future all rushed into awareness. I began to smile and laugh at the significance of the worries I carried. I imagined my life, way past the world we live in and began to feel connected to pure, unconditional love. A love for myself that was so rich, so forgiving and so beautiful that attempting to describe any of it, would simply leave me occupied for centuries to come.
The next morning I woke up at 5 A.M. in the middle of my bed. I had not taken notice, but I quickly become cognizant that I had been still sleeping for months on one side of the bed. Subconsciously, I had been still honoring the other side of the bed for someone else. I had not taken the reigns of my own life, yet alone my own bed. Here I was finally waking up to my full moment, honoring my life. As I laid in the middle of my bed, I reflected on the previous night's breathwork with another huge smile, I again felt the immense gratitude for what I have already experienced in life and completely open to whatever would come my way.
Still radiating the love I felt, I rolled out of bed and within an hour I created the artwork below in pink (the original is larger). It expresses not only my temporary deformation but the presence of the other 8 brave souls who experienced the retreat with me. Behind it is LOVE IS, in all its weirdness, beauty and authenticity. It was no longer defined as just a "choice", it was now so much more that that. It was beyond the love for a partner, or a child, I got to see it everywhere with everyone. I was floating in love through a beam of light. Love was expansive and unconditional.
After the retreat, I kept looking at the piece and thinking about how energized it made me feel. How connected I felt to my creativity and doing something that deserved more of this love I felt. So I decided to begin working on various other designs and decided to place them on high quality, eco-friendly yoga mats. I further partnered with organizations such as Wild.org and Water.org to give back some of the proceeds to some incredible causes I felt passionate about. I welcome you to visit the soulobsession.com and reach out if you'd like one, I will provide a coupon code.
CREATIVE YOGA MATS WITH A PURPOSE
TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE ONE YOGA MAT AT A TIME. THROUGH ART, WE'RE PASSIONATE ABOUT NATURE & OUR FELLOW EARTHLINGS.
Past my work, other ventures opened up. I decided to return back to school and pursue a doctorate in clinical psychology at Nova Southeastern University. I also committed myself helping other men and couples find their way in life. Whether through breathwork or coaching, I've come to see that we've all faced challenges. Often challenges and things that we still can't quiet see, many are just too subtle to notice. Things that were seemingly outside of the realm of possibility suddenly became visible and attainable.
And as for my solitude, I became extremely comfortable with it. No one needed to fill my jar with love or accompaniment. I kept waking up happily in the middle of the bed. I allowed things to just be. Creatively and emotionally I came to find power and passion in what my life was without the need to manage it. Life just seemed to now flow. When a loving partner did finally come around, love was not expected to do anything. Love was just openly shared. It didn't need to look like a marriage, a living cohabitation, or like anything at all. It soon blossomed on its own with full acceptance and surrender to the very moments we shared. All levels of intimacy were fully honored and there was zero fear in the unknowns. We just committed to showing up at our most authentic selves.
The rest of the story speaks for itself. Carolina and I live in absolute joy to everything around us. We literally live in a bubble of love. We often observe the disturbances around society and the many issues people face. We're honored to help wherever we can and passionately create meaningful work with the utmost quality and care. We stand behind the notion that we've both been challenged in life, but have worked hard at improving our personal experience to better help others improve theirs as well.
In closing, I simply encourage you to explore breathwork with an open, curious mind. It may not be the first, second, or tenth experience that may help you access your non-ordinary state of consciousness, it can take some practice. I also believe the my own process of quality therapy and emotional rawness made me more open to fully experience breathwork which I had tried before. It took me a few sessions to better understand the benefits, learn it, and become open to its magic. At the very least breathwork can be an active meditation with bioenergetic healing properties. It allows you to take time for yourself, away from the social media feeds, the worldly issues, or problems at work. On the other end of the spectrum, I've seen individuals have deeply profound meaningful experiences, healing past traumas or unlocking the full beauty of their being. As with most things, I try to recommend a holistic approach which together can lead you to the shift or insight you may desire. Perhaps it may even open you to a single experience, where you can awake the next morning with your life forever changed.
Welcome to BREATHWORK.